OgBashar wrote: ↑
Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:26 pm
and Why are you attracted to this kitten murderer? some childhood fantasy perhaps?
When I was a child I once killed a toad with my B.B. gun. The first shot flipped him over as it went through his leg. I turned him over and as I placed the barrel to his head to finish him off he flinched in fear and squinted his eyes. In that moment I saw something completely unexpected, I saw his pain and fear. I immediately felt so bad, so horrible and disgusted with myself I wanted to through up. I took a short moment to decide what to do as I now found it very difficult to entertain the idea of killing this poor frightened creature. I decided that the best thing to do would be to end his pain so I shot him in the head killing him quickly. Since then I have never killed an animal higher on the food chain than an insect.
Though I had guilt with regards to my actions, I forgave myself because I realize that taking those actions in ignorance were necessary and allowed me to discover more of who I am. I learned a very powerful lesson relatively eaisly. Some people need much more convincing and they only learn what they need to when they find themselves a frightened toad or kitten as the case may be. Negative Karma is a bitch, I don’t like playing that game anymore.
Thanks for sharing that. I had a similar experience with a slug, of all things. I was living in an apartment where the bathroom needed a re-do to put it mildly. There was a hole in the ceiling and slugs would slither down through it toward the shower!
Not all the time, but when they did, it wasn't pleasant. I wouldn't kill them, but I would catch them and throw
them outside in my frustration. One day I caught sight of one on the bathroom floor and it actually, perceptibly cringed before me. I guess it picked up on my vibe and intention to get rid of it. I think I may have left that one alone, I don't recall, but it made quite an impression on me.
The apartment was great otherwise, in a very nice area, and rent was cheap, considering. After the bathroom was remodeled I was asked to leave, since they wanted to rent out the place for more $$, which I think would have been difficult with the slugs in the bathroom! In retrospect, the bathroom/slug situation enabled me to stay there for eight years, and it was great for my son and I. I sure didn't want to move, but it was for the best as it turned out.
I actually admire Bentinho for sharing what he did there. I am sure he's grown beyond that kind of thing, It is likely that he was abused in some way himself to do that. Children learn what they live.