Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

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Mgal7
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Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby Mgal7 » Thu Aug 17, 2017 6:28 pm

I understand that by the fact that we live in a universe of infinite possibilities, any possibility I can create with my mind can be experienced by me in physical reality.

I have limiting beliefs with regards to relationships that I hope some discussion with you guys might shine some light on them.

My life experience has caused me to desire deep, meaningful, loving long-lasting relationships. Typically this belief presents itself in romantic relationships, but has also, as of late, presented itself with regards to platonic relationships. Taking action (without the aligned belief) results in the relationships slipping away. But somehow I can't seem to get myself to a place where I can believe this to be possible. There's a worry of divorce, or marital unhappiness, or infidelity. And that's before I'm even in a relationship! Hahahha with friends it just seems they aren't interested in talking or hanging out. In both cases the belief is brought to the surface when I text to hang out or to develop the relationship, and I'm ignored.

I've been focusing more and more on following my excitement and in this area I have been given a challenge. There's a feeling for me that I won't allow myself to get excited, because when I have it turns sour. So I'm associating following my excitement with pain and I don't know how to shift that. For example I went on vacation, I followed my excitement and dedicated myself to how I wanted to feel and what I wanted to do. I decided to meet someone new (it was my last day on vacation so I was more allowing) and had a really awesome time. It felt great and there was evidence that he enjoyed himself too. At first I wanted it to simply be a one night thing, but I really liked him and thought to myself wouldn't it be nice if this developed into a relationship? Not in any specific way: friendship, sexual, romantic, I was open to anything. But as much as I tried to soothe the worry that was brought up with our parting, I couldn't. And it's manifested into him not responding to my texts.

I get following excitement without any insistence of the outcome. But ultimately what I see happening with me is 1. I don't believe that I can have the kind of relationship I want and 2. When I get excited about someone (specifically romantically) I start picturing myself with them and isn't that having some kind of insistence on the outcome? How could I both enjoy my imagination and have a positive expectation, while still allowing the universe to deliver to me what I've asked for? It feels like on the one had you can have whatever you want, infinite possibilities, you create your own reality. But on the other hand it's: have no isistence on the outcome, everyone has free will, you can't create in another's reality.

I mean if I want to have a specific kind of relationship with someone and there are infinite realities, why wouldn't I be able to explore the relationship I want with him in my chosen reality and still honor his free will? I mean there are infinite versions of us, why wouldn't there be a version of me that aligns with the version of him that desires what I desire?

Thanks for all the help ❤️

xplosiw
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby xplosiw » Thu Aug 17, 2017 6:59 pm

Of course it's possible, I have one going on right now. And my parents and her parents were together since they met basically.

infinity is now
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby infinity is now » Thu Aug 17, 2017 9:44 pm

I don't want to sound cliche, but you need to find that relationship with yourself first. Some people do it as they go along from where they are at now in their current relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. But, if you're single and you're aware of these patterns, Find out who you are first. Because when I delve the LoA community forums, everyone wants a relationship partner, but most of them don't know WHY they do. Again, relationships of all kinds are beautiful. I'm in a 'single' period right now in my life after spending years of chasing after women for the wrong reasons. But, I know in the future, I will want to pursue a heart centered relationship. I'm not there yet because of my own insecurities and tendencies towards co-dependcy. If you love yourself, you won't NEED another to love you. But, you'll simply be able to provide it regardless of the outcome.

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Alice
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby Alice » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:10 pm

It's not cliche, it is something few people really understand, that the relationship with the self is primary.

At this point I'm not even sure I want an intimate relationship, but I figure if it happens, I'll go with that flow.
I like Abe's take on this:


Do you know the relationship that you are all looking for? Do you know what it
really is?

You want the relationship between you and you. And when you meet a person who
looks fondly at you, or who is appreciative of you, or someone you look fondly
upon, or someone you appreciate, it just hooks you up to your Inner Being, which
is what you want all along.

So the relationship you are all looking for is the relationship between you and
you. And everything else is just helpful in that, really.

Don't you find that interesting? That what you really want is a reason to
vibrationally connect with who you really are.

And so, you ask so much of people because you say to them, "You need to be the
one who causes me to feel good." And what we want to say to all of you is:

If any of you are without the relationship of your dreams right now, that's a
wonderful thing. Because now you have an opportunity to work on the
relationship that really matters first and foremost. And then, in that
connection, the relationship of your dreams will come.

But you are going to discover the relationship of your dreams is really your own
Inner Being. It's that infusion of clarity and confidence and wellness, that's
what you are reaching for.

And it is nice to have a human friend who holds you as their object of attention
and adores you right into your connection. But we want you experience greater
independence than that. We want you to say to your lovers, "I love you, but I
don't live for you. Because Source Energy flows through me. You are a catalyst
to my wellbeing, but you are not essential to my wellbeing. Because I've got
that figured out on my own. I have reached for thoughts that give me relief.
And I have relieved myself all the way into my full connection of who I really
am. And now we can just dance and play together."

Can you feel how you take them off the hook? In other words, do you know how
many men would flock to you.? (ALL OF THEM!) .if they knew that you would
allow them to be as they are and you would not hold them responsible for your
happiness.

That's what everyone wants. How much bondage is there in believing that your
happiness depends on me, so I've got to figure out what you want, and stand on
my head in all those different ways, and it's not even possible!

The greatest gift you can give anyone is to be happy. And we will take that
further. The greatest gift you can give to any partner, past, present or future
is to be so connected with who you truly are that they are irrelevant to your
connection. And when they are irrelevant to your connection, then you are going
to have a really good time together.

San Diego 2/7/04

ingerul9
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby ingerul9 » Fri Aug 18, 2017 2:48 pm

Or you can read this book https://www.amazon.com/All-Rules-Time-t ... 613&sr=1-1 .

It's basically a summary of how relationships work in the initial phases. I recommend it.

Mgal7
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby Mgal7 » Fri Aug 18, 2017 5:20 pm

The whole exploration of this topic is my exploration of self. Who I am choosing to be based on my current beliefs, and thus the first step to discovering who I truly am.
The responses have been useful and are along the lines of what I was already (slightly) leaning towards.

Thanks!

Ps if anyone has any info on Bashar talking about experiencing a visualized relationship with someone, I'd love to read it. I know Abraham has talked about people not being able to trump your expectation and thus seeing them as you'd like to see them is your best option, but I always love the way Bashar explains things :D

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Alice
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby Alice » Sat Aug 19, 2017 11:41 pm

I'd also recommend Ken Keyes Jr.'s The Conscious Person's Guide to Relationships.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/989 ... ationships

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captainfws
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby captainfws » Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:59 am

Hello Alice and all. I am new here. Bashar has indicated: What you put out is what you get back. Another way of saying likes attract. I would get active in what excites you and what you want your mate excited about. That may include what others have said here, ie, how to operate a healthy relationship with yourself and others.....Let me be clear, with the following info I am not implying fate. It is said the stars impel but do not compel. The personal archetypal energies you can find in your astrological birth chart will give you insight into what subconscious driven behaviors you tend to exhibit and what you tend to feel. Most of our emotional beliefs we learn by age 6. (see Bruce Lipton "The Biology of Belief" 10th anniversary edition is best) After learning Carl Jung found psychological astrology useful in understanding his more enigmatic patients, I studied it and found it accurate and useful. This is not a commercial for my svcs......In my own discomfort with existential aloneness I found mindfullness and practicing the Tao helpful in accepting being single. It is possible to experience love by practicing enlightened self interest, doing for others makes you feel good....Take care

infinity is now
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby infinity is now » Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:28 am

Captain my captain :D Bruce Lipton's work has been seminal and empowering for me in exploring healing. Do you offer astrological readings through here by any chance? I also practice mindfulness.

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Alice
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby Alice » Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:56 am

Welcome Captain :)

Also, the Law of One material speaks of Wanderers, a term that seems to be synonymous with Family of Light from Marciniak's Pleiaidans. Wanderers incarnate here mostly from the 6th dimension, but also from the 4th and 5th, in order to uplift and assist in the collective evolution. Born into 3D, they become part of the 3D game of life, but there is usually a divide from the rest of humanity, which tends to isolate them. I think I am a Wanderer/Family of Light, and have learned to be very self-sufficient, while I also practice service to others as indicated/appropriate. We are brainwashed into thinking we all need to be coupled up, but the truth is, not all of us do need that. I practice mindfulness as well, and do Yoga which is very helpful in getting centered and refreshed.

I've learned a lot through astrology and have had my chart interpreted several times, including a Magi astrology reading. I follow my transits. :)

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captainfws
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby captainfws » Thu Sep 07, 2017 2:39 am

Dear infinity is now: I am not a ""practicing"" astrologer. Glad to find another Bruce Lipton enthusiast. Currently blowing my mind with Brendan D Murphy "The Grand Illusion" book 1. Regarding relationships: I recently asked a friend whom was struggling with "Can't live with em. Can't live without em", if he had ever wanted a piece of apple pie, but had to settle for a cookie? LOL, the pie is our desire to feel one with God. The cookie an exclusive relationship; which some seek through serial monogomy, never finding inner peace from outside themselves.

infinity is now
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby infinity is now » Thu Sep 07, 2017 2:54 am

I'm only 36, but can absolutely relate. I feel like that massive desire for being loved is really the love we are seeking within ourselves. Relationships have been hell for me otherwise, because I had looked for love outside of myself for years, seeking validation in others. Interesting analogy. Never heard that one, but it's a good one.

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captainfws
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby captainfws » Thu Sep 07, 2017 3:21 am

LOL, yes I'm proud of that one. Forget "Life is like a box of chocolates". God is a piece of apple pie! May the excitement be with you

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Alice
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby Alice » Thu Sep 07, 2017 3:53 am

captainfws wrote:LOL, yes I'm proud of that one. Forget "Life is like a box of chocolates". God is a piece of apple pie! May the excitement be with you


And don't forget the ice cream. God is apple pie a la mode :mrgreen:

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Alice
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby Alice » Thu Sep 07, 2017 4:47 am

I just have to share this. I am reading a book on creativity, and the chapter Seek Out Solitude, tells of a series of experiments with over 700 people.
They asked participants to spend time in a room alone for between 6 to 15 minutes w/o access to a cell phone or a writing instrument.

Participants had the option of entertaining themselves while alone by pressing a button and receiving a mild electric shock.

The neuroscientists found that 64 percent of the men and 15 percent of the women began availing themselves of that electric shock option when left alone with their thoughts.These same people had previously told the experimenters that they would pay to avoid receiving those shocks.

It was concluded that many lack the inner resources or training to appreciate being alone with their thoughts.
"Without such training, people prefer doing to thinking, even if what they are doing is so unpleasant that they would normally pay to avoid it.
The untutored mind does not like to be alone with itself."

This automatically rules out relationships with a lot of people. If they can't be good company for themselves, how can they be good company for another?

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captainfws
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby captainfws » Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:37 am

The study doesn't say how many people were single. For many single people the reminder they are alone is like a back beat chronically in their ear. Stepping through the home door first thing the tv or stereo go on and stay on for company. The pain of existential aloneness is so pathological in our civilization the cruelest thing you can do to a person is ignore them. I can't remember the quote, but it is something about it being better to have someone to torture you in hell than to be alone. Being ""alone"" in a room!!! The shock button is your partner in hell.....LOL, how's that for dark? Having said all that, I do think I would prefer a partner with thoughts interesting enough to self entertain.

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Alice
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby Alice » Thu Sep 07, 2017 7:05 am

captainfws wrote:The study doesn't say how many people were single. For many single people the reminder they are alone is like a back beat chronically in their ear. Stepping through the home door first thing the tv or stereo go on and stay on for company. The pain of existential aloneness is so pathological in our civilization the cruelest thing you can do to a person is ignore them. I can't remember the quote, but it is something about it being better to have someone to torture you in hell than to be alone. Being ""alone"" in a room!!! The shock button is your partner in hell.....LOL, how's that for dark? Having said all that, I do think I would prefer a partner with thoughts interesting enough to self entertain.


Yes, very dark! :?

I've experienced the extremes of getting a lot of attention and of being ignored. People are fickle--we have to find the love within.
This from Bartholomew channeled by Mary-Margaret Moore, expresses it well, I think:

http://www.astrodreamadvisor.com/Bartho ... Poses.html

You have, in your present culture, lost the power inherent in the wisdom of being alone. You have confused this state with loneliness. When this strand is in balance, you will know that you contain all that you need within yourself and you do not really need anyone else. This does not mean that you cannot enjoy, fully participate with, and admire others, but you will know that you have created the balance within your own being to stand powerfully and blissfully alone.

You make your lives very difficult when you ignore this strand. This has being the age of "togetherness." You are together all the time, and even if no one else is around, you almost always have that universal mandala, the television, available to take the place of people. You need to experience the bliss that comes from being silently alone with yourself. If you ignore the power of this strand, you will stay in a state of needy imbalance in your world, constantly looking to others to make you feel all right.

Even those of you who have been so wise as to construct your lives so that you are alone are in a state of ambivalence about it. You think there is something you are doing wrong, or you would not be alone. This very ambivalence is what impedes your learning.

Instead of stating that you are alone because it is only by being with yourself you can learn about yourself, you go around feeling lonely and left out. Continuing relationships that are no longer meaningful because you are afraid of being alone creates the fear that brings about the imbalance that can keep you "stuck" on this strand for lifetimes.

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captainfws
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby captainfws » Thu Sep 07, 2017 7:19 am

So back to getting to know one's self, the spirit having a human experience, and the vehicle for the subjective experience of its current reality tunnel/seperate reality. For the subjective experience I have already suggested psychological astrology. I'll add Meyers Briggs. What else? I think a creative endeavor would be healthy. A way good way to express your inner self and stay in the now. More?

themaster
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby themaster » Thu Sep 07, 2017 7:23 am

Alice wrote:It was concluded that many lack the inner resources or training to appreciate being alone with their thoughts.
"Without such training, people prefer doing to thinking, even if what they are doing is so unpleasant that they would normally pay to avoid it.
The untutored mind does not like to be alone with itself."

This automatically rules out relationships with a lot of people. If they can't be good company for themselves, how can they be good company for another?

hmm thinking sucks.. lol :D :P

yeshua has to tell me many simple secrets..

like the human was created to be a social creature..

or how about that touch is important in connection..
Alice wrote:we have to find the love within.

what's not to love? :)
I really don't like signatures.. but here goes.. my public talk with b https://vimeo.com/218534595

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Alice
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Re: Are long-term/life-long relationships possible?

Postby Alice » Thu Sep 07, 2017 7:22 pm

themaster wrote:
Alice wrote:It was concluded that many lack the inner resources or training to appreciate being alone with their thoughts.
"Without such training, people prefer doing to thinking, even if what they are doing is so unpleasant that they would normally pay to avoid it.
The untutored mind does not like to be alone with itself."

This automatically rules out relationships with a lot of people. If they can't be good company for themselves, how can they be good company for another?

hmm thinking sucks.. lol :D :P

yeshua has to tell me many simple secrets..

like the human was created to be a social creature..

or how about that touch is important in connection..
Alice wrote:we have to find the love within.

what's not to love? :)


snip from the Bartholomew quote:

you contain all that you need within yourself and you do not really need anyone else. This does not mean that you cannot enjoy, fully participate with, and admire others, but you will know that you have created the balance within your own being to stand powerfully and blissfully alone.


Not this or that, but this and that.

My sense is that a lot of suicides are people who can't stand to be alone with themselves. Sometimes you just have to hang in there, trust in yourself and in the process of Life.


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